Thursday, August 10, 2006

Overheard in New York

Overheard in New York, the website where people post snippets of conversations they catch in NYC, is old news, but I just ran across a post that a friend sent me a while ago -- it's brilliant:
Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn't know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It's not a burqa, it's a poncho. I'm Jewish. It's for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.

--53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Pam

As long as I'm at it, check the Current Favorites section for more gems like that. Like this:

Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn't know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I'm just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That's true.

--Forbidden Planet, 13th Street

And here are whole string of reasons I don't want automated trains without conductors (like on the 4/5/6 and L lines) that announce stops to replace the old subway trains:

Conductor: This is a Brooklyn bound B train. Like bitch.
--B train

Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train fucking us all over.
--Uptown A train

Conductor: Never give up on life. Keep hope alive. This is 30th Avenue.
--N train, Astoria

Conductor: You can switch to the A train across the platform. However, I would much rather you stay on this train.
--Downtown C train, 14th St

And especially this:

Conductor: Okay, okay...all you white people get off the train here. That's right, hippies and hipsters. If you under thirty-five and white, you don't want to stay on this train no mo'. The next stop will be the ghet-to!

--Flatbush-bound 2 express train at Eastern Parkway/Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: chagrined hipster

And speaking of the subway:

The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other. He says: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?

He sprays the windex.

Hobo: Or Spring?

He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.

Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.

--F train
Overheard by: Pete Johnson


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Site Meter