Saturday, September 30, 2006

Cute Animals, Little People, Dead Animals, Edible Animals, And More

My friend Kyle at the blog Kyle's Best of the Blank has a brilliant post titled: "This Could Make Our Country Great Again" about Baby Toupees.

Kyle seems to be on some kind of a cuteness bender. Check out his link to animals in casts -- so pathetic, so cute that, as Kyle says "I want to squeeeeeze it."

He found a video clip from what looks like a Bollywood movie in which a strange little person does some alarmingly smooth b-boy moves while a lounging mustachioed man in a sleeveless shirt stops and starts the music. It's mezmerizing. I just watched it again.

Now I've had too much cute, so I go to my friend Mike's blog, "Greetings From the Top of the World." Mike is a math professor who just moved to Barrow, Alaska, the northern-most point in America. I think it's above the Arctic Circle. In his most recent entry, he says there's not much to do there, so he does lots of push-ups. He also walks on the tundra. So where's my cuteness antidote? Ah, there it is: "Whaling Season Opens Today." Here's what Mike has to say about it:
Three of the crews brought in whales. This is considered spectacular for the first day. They bring them to the beach to be butchered. They are all ready done as I write. That was a lot of work. I saw loads of fresh cut whale meat zooming down the street in trailers and being hauled by ATV's. It looks remarkably like huge slices of watermelon.
That may be enough to get me off cute. But just to make sure, I'll check out the post where he meets a Filipino guy who tells him about eating dogs and cock fighting. I'll let you find that post on your own. It's been fun to read about Mike's adjustment to the North. He posts some good pictures, too.

Now I need an antidote to Mike's dog-eating post. For that, I follow a link I found in one of his reader's comments. It leads me to this: "Get Behind Jesus," which offers this:
Angus MacDougall is a three-year-old terrier mix that has recently been blessed with the revered and holy image of Jesus Christ on his hindquarters. Is this manifestation of The Prince of Peace a coincidence or a bona fide miracle?
I suggest you push the "click here for a miracle" button.

From my good friend K, I learned about an agency in Germany that sends people, via phone or a messenger, break-up news. Why not? A break-up service is in a way, a logical (if idiotic) outgrowth of dating services.

Now I'm depressed. I need cute again, only this time with a twist. How about pandas? I first heard about this "incident" via Gothamist:

Man is drunk at zoo. Man sees cute panda. Man climbs into panda habitat. Man sneaks up on panda, hugs him. Panda bites man; man bites panda. Man gets stiches, panda confused.

It happened in Beijing when Zhang Xinyan, 35, drank too much and figured six year-old Gu Gu needed some affection. According to the BBC, the man told reporters: "I bit the panda on its back but its fur was too thick. ... No one ever said they would bite people. I just wanted to touch it." Yes. That'll do.


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