Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Another Masticator. In the Same Neighborhood, Even.

Amazingly, there is another blogger (on Blogger, no less) calling himself "Masticator" and living in my Brooklyn neighborhood: Masticator.net.

He's a 26-year-old illustrator, according to his profile, and his blog is about food. Most of it is photos of food.

I found it via the Kensington (Brooklyn) blog that I have linked on the right here in the links section under the Brooklyn heading. I was browsing the Kensington blog and looking at their links section when I noticed one saying "Masticator". I pleasantly surprised, thinking they had noticed that I was another local blogger. But imagine my surprise when I clicked on it to find someone else entirely.

This other Masticator seems to make meals, and then take photos of each dish on a nice plate. Much like Jeff Goldblum in the 1990 movie Mister Frost. I think the plot of that was that Frost was the devil. But the only thing I remember about the movie was that the character would make these elaborate meals, take Polaroid photos of them right out of the oven, and then throw the food away without eating it.

If you go to a certain part of Goldblum.com called "Ask Mr. Frost," you can ask Mr. Frost questions:
"Mr. Frost is pure evil but he knows all. I've convinced him to share his knowledge to help you out. Even a fallen angel can do a good deed. Ask him any question you want to and he will analyze your intentions. It's like having Satan for a psychologist."
So I pressed the wrong button, prompting him to respond, "PLEASE TALK LOUDER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Here's the rest of our exchange, as it appeared on the website:
You : Do you have a favorite movie?
Mr. Frost: We aren't discussing me.
You : Do I have a favorite movie?
Mr. Frost: Say, do you have any psychological problems?
You : Okay. Who will be the next president?
Mr. Frost: Why do you ask?
You : I thought you might know.
Mr. Frost: This is your session, not mine.
You : You're right. Here's a better question: Why can't I find love?
Mr. Frost: what makes you think I'm RIGHT HERES A BETTER QUESTION WHY CANT YOU FIND LOVE
You : Why can't I find love?
Mr. Frost: Why can't you?
You : Do you love anyone?
Mr. Frost: Do you love me?
You : No.
Mr. Frost: Why not?
You : Look, I don't even know you.
Mr. Frost: Don't you really EVEN KNOW ME
Damn you, Goldblum! It goes on like that endlessly.

The site hasn't been updated since 2004, and it's not done by Goldblum anyway. "I am not Jeff. I cannot forward your e-mail to Jeff. I cannot get you in contact with Jeff in any way," says webmaster Amanda Galiano on the bottom of the home page.

For the record, my favorite Goldblum movie is 1985's Into the Night, directed by John Landis, in which Goldblum plays an insomniac in Los Angeles named Ed Okin.

2 Comments:

Blogger joey said...

I think the Goldblum site is using "Eliza" for the "Ask Mr. Frost" feature. Eliza is a program embedded in emacs, sort of a crude artificial intelligence. If you have a Mac you have it installed on your computer, instructions are here: "Talk to Eliza to solve all of your problems."

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

You take pictures of food. All the time. Are you sure you're not running two Masticator blogs, one of which you're unaware of? Also, do you have another personality who's a 26-year-old illustrator? If so, is he cute?

9:08 AM  

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