The Best News I've Heard All Week

Nestled between headlines about Tara Reid checking into rehab and British scientists discovering a nearly intact 2,000-year-old brain was a gem of an item in the Associated Press's breaking news:

Fla. Woman Drinking on Roof Asks Man for More Beer

FORT PIERCE, Fla. (AP) — A man called police on Wednesday night after he came home from work and spotted an intoxicated woman drinking a beer on the roof of his home. The 28-year-old woman was taken into custody after she refused to get down and leave. The police report said the woman agreed to leave only if the man agreed to give her more beer.

The woman, who faces a disorderly intoxication charge, has been in trouble before.

A police report shows that she was suspected of stealing money from her sister to buy alcohol in October. And last week an officer who went to her apartment on a disturbance report reported that Smith was intoxicated and wouldn't quiet down.

[via the AP.]

But who is Smith? The story was obviously truncated by the AP. The original headline from the TC Palm was just as good:

'Drunk Pedestrian' on Roof Won't Come Down, Seeks More Beer

At least she didn't drive up there. The woman was Amber D. Smith, and the Palm included her mugshot.

The omission of a first reference to her name aside, the AP's version of the story is delightfully straightforward, as if the second writer had edited out the reporter's incredulity.